Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Call of the Wild

Dear Talkie Toni,

I am in a bit of a jam here, or at least it feels like one. I'm a single dad, very involved with my son, we spend a lot of time together, I have a fwb (friends with benefits) relationship with a gal I get along with pretty well, we vacation together, dinners, etc, plus work. My life is pretty full, I volunteer at my sons school as well when I can swing the time. One of the married mom's there, very attractive, has been, I thought just wanting to talk, so we had lunch twice, talked, I told her what I thought would be helpful to help her get along with her husband a little better. She's been emailing me she wants to take 'this' to the next level, doubt I'm attracted to her, but it's just not the right thing to do, correct?

Dad in Distress

Thanks for writing in Dad In Distress,

You clearly know the answer to this one.

Personally, I don't condone adultery, although it seems - especially in NYC, that most people don't consider it cheating until you're married. There are two issues here.

Issue #1 is your FWB. You need to ask yourself how you'd feel if she came to you and said, 'Hey, I met this guy and he seemed pretty into me, so I think we're gunna take it to the next level.' You probably wouldn't be to psyched.

It sounds like you've got a great relationship with your son, and bringing an ultra complicated 2nd lover may confuse him just a bit, assuming that he's already pretty chummy with your current FWB.

The second issue is the Housewife. Do you really want to be 'the guy' that's responsible for the home wrecking that's bound to take place? My advice is to give your Married Mom the number to one of your VERY single friends that's into destroying families, and stay the hell away!

This advice may come across as harsh, so I must say, you deserve a lot of credit for not only resisting the urges of the wild housewife, but being involved in your child's life, and attempting to set a good example for him. Another issue - do you even have time for an affair? Probably not!

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