Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Guys and Grooves

Dear Talkie Toni,

My girlfriend left me for a much older man about six months ago. Since then I've been completely uninterested in women, to the point where I can't even remember the last time I've had an erection (and I normally pop one just from watching 60 Minutes!). My friends have tried setting me up with tons of nice girls but I can barely muster up enough enthusiasm to get through an entire date. Do you have any tips on how a heartbroken dude can get his groove back? Or is it called something other "groove" if you're a guy?

Boneless in Bucks County

Thanks for writing in, BBC. I've spent the past few days really thinking about how to approach this question...and I think that I have a number of options that may help.

The first, and most obvious option would be to sign up for a reality dating show. Start by doing an outline of your likes and dislikes in your specie of choice. (Blond hair, green eyes, amputee, etc.) When this is complete make a hefty shopping list of networks that you think may be interested. If you need a contact at Disney, let me know.

Seeing that your ex-girlfriend left you for an older man, another option would be to try updating your wardrobe and accessorizing with a gold or platinum American Express card. Flash it anywhere you go, as you never know where love may find you.

In terms of getting your groove back, I'd say a good old fashioned night of fun (drinking) may do the trick. To spice it up, try wearing a subtle disguise and go to a new place. Be mysterious and meet some new people. Use this adventure as a way to break free from your comfort zone and get back in touch with who you are.

Remember, getting in touch with yourself helps you get in touch with others.

Got a question? Email Me!

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