Meshugenah Monday - Can we Please Talk.

Today my friends, lets talk about the age old question that many women face. Is it a dress or a shirt? The tunic has torn down the wall that used to clearly divide the dress from the shirt. The following two articles of clothing are currently for sale as dresses.

Exhibit A:


Exhibit B:



Let us all ask ourselves a couple of fundamental questions when we're evaluating a dress/shirt situation:

Can I safely tie my shoes in public wearing this?
If I wear this without hosiery will I contract a disease?

Of course, every girl needs a few dresses that are on the whoreish side, but please, let's all try and exercise some restraint on our day to day dress/shirt wearing. Let's not let this trend perpetuate any further!

Remember - if it's a shirt - wear pants!Read more!

Call of the Wild

Dear Talkie Toni,

I am in a bit of a jam here, or at least it feels like one. I'm a single dad, very involved with my son, we spend a lot of time together, I have a fwb (friends with benefits) relationship with a gal I get along with pretty well, we vacation together, dinners, etc, plus work. My life is pretty full, I volunteer at my sons school as well when I can swing the time. One of the married mom's there, very attractive, has been, I thought just wanting to talk, so we had lunch twice, talked, I told her what I thought would be helpful to help her get along with her husband a little better. She's been emailing me she wants to take 'this' to the next level,..no doubt I'm attracted to her, but it's just not the right thing to do, correct?

Thanks,
Dad in Distress


Thanks for writing in Dad In Distress,

You clearly know the answer to this one.

Personally, I don't condone adultery, although it seems - especially in NYC, that most people don't consider it cheating until you're married. There are two issues here.

Issue #1 is your FWB. You need to ask yourself how you'd feel if she came to you and said, 'Hey, I met this guy and he seemed pretty into me, so I think we're gunna take it to the next level.' You probably wouldn't be to psyched.

It sounds like you've got a great relationship with your son, and bringing an ultra complicated 2nd lover may confuse him just a bit, assuming that he's already pretty chummy with your current FWB.

The second issue is the Housewife. Do you really want to be 'the guy' that's responsible for the home wrecking that's bound to take place? My advice is to give your Married Mom the number to one of your VERY single friends that's into destroying families, and stay the hell away!

This advice may come across as harsh, so I must say, you deserve a lot of credit for not only resisting the urges of the wild housewife, but being involved in your child's life, and attempting to set a good example for him. Another issue - do you even have time for an affair? Probably not!

Got questions? Send em to TalkieToni@gmail.com
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ITEM OF THE DAY: Valentino: The Last Emperor

I am by no means fashion forward, in fact I tend to shop at stores whose names I'm embarrassed to say, but I do have a love for expensive things that I can't afford. I've always found videos that companies like Hermes posts that show couture sewing rooms very interesting, so I was immediately curious when I saw that there was a documentary on the dressmaker Valentino. It was amazing to see inside the world of someone who is the true definition of a couturier.

That's why the Item of The Day for November 3, 2009 is Valentino: The Last Emperor. For inspiration to get off your culo and create something sometime watch the trailer below, and if you got Netflix you can watch the whole thing there.

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I ❤ Hair

This Halloween I decided to do something that I haven't done in a while - make a costume from scratch. I narrowed it down from a Sailor to Sherlock Holmes to a Taco and somehow ended up with Medusa. Last year I was Monica Lewinsky (decked out with a Clinton/Gore button and all) and no one got it, so I decided to go towards a more straightforward approach to a costume.

I had this great idea of making a wig with braids and snakes, which led me to the local beauty supply store in my neighborhood, who kindly introduced me to the world of synthetic hair. I watched loads of YouTube videos I picked up braiding rather quickly and embarked on my journey to wig heaven. I had no idea the amount of time and effort that goes into hairstyles that include weaving and braiding.

Anyway, I now have an endless amount of respect for people who choose to create, wear, and maintain any hairstyle that involves wefts, braids, weaves, etc. I also feel a slight obsession coming on involving hair pieces.

If you'd like me to do a tutorial piece on using wigs and hair extensions, Let me know! TalkieToni@gmail.comRead more!

ITEM OF THE DAY: Essie Potato Fields

I decided to treat myself to an at home manicure last night since I was still mourning the two deaths of big ticket electronics this week.

I needed something that was subdued, but would stand out enough to say, "Hello, world, I'm back and better than ever!" Not really, but Essie Potato Fields is pretty much the perfect no-color color. Just enough of the potato field color to give your nails a little oomph.

Girls, gotta get it. Guys, get it for your girls. ($8/bottle)

Send your questions and inquiries regarding monetary donations to TalkieToni@gmail.comRead more!

ITEM OF THE DAY: iTrack and iHound

In addition to yesterday's mourning of my dead digital voice recorder, I am also mourning my iPod Touch. I'm not that big into tech devices, and certainly not glued to it, but it sucks to have lost it.

Stupidly, I misplaced my ipod while on a grueling 7 hour bus ride from Plattsburgh, NY to NYC. I had engaged in a 6+ hour Scrabble tournament that lasted till the battery died somewhere in New Jersey (that's right, blame Jersey) at which point I thought I put it into my purse, but it must have fallen under my seat instead.

Anyway, while looking for ways to recover it, I found a slew of applications for ipod Touch and iPhones that help if you ever loose them. If I had known before my trip, I would probably have mine back by now.

So check out iTrack and iHound for your mobile devices, so you're not totally helpless when you loose expensive playthings.

P.S. Please let me know if you'd like to donate to the "Talkie Toni Needs a Touch" foundation by emailing me at TalkieToni@gmail.comRead more!

ITEM OF THE DAY: Rapcap mini Microphone

For years I've had a digital voice recorder hibernating in my desk drawer. I pulled it out in preparation for an upcoming event, only to find out it died while sleeping. It's ok, because instead of mourning my loss, I'm celebrating a new addition to my life, the Rapcap mini microphone for ipods by Chill Pill Audio. It plugs into your stereo jack creating and instant mic. I'm thinking it can be used for laptops and a number of different electronic devices.

Say goodbye old technology, and hello to my newest friend, the Rapcap mic from Chill Pill Audio.


As always, send your questions to TalkieToni@gmail.comRead more!